June 2, 2025 
by M. Regina Cram
Caroline was a young woman of tremendous faith, and she yearned for a man with whom to share life on a spiritual level. She was not willing to compromise, even if it meant waiting a long time.
She waited a long time.
Caroline and I hadn’t seen each other for a while when we found ourselves sitting together at a wedding. In a quiet moment, Caroline leaned close and whispered, “May I ask your advice about something important?”
Caroline had been dating a man for six months. David was everything she’d ever wanted in a husband, and she was falling in love with him.
The problem was that David was divorced, and while he’d applied for an annulment, it had not yet been granted. But, Caroline stressed, “the annulment is just a piece of paper.” She explained that David had stayed in his troubled marriage for years after his wife asked for a divorce. “He’s very committed to marriage,” Caroline stressed.
Nevertheless, Caroline had a nagging concern about dating him, so she sought my advice.I’ve never been fast on my feet. I stumbled for words, suggesting she proceed with caution, take things slowly . . . something brilliant like that.
The problem was that my advice was wrong.
I prayed for Caroline in the ensuing days, and gradually the truth became clear: Caroline was dating a married man.
I decided to write to her. I stressed that I loved her dearly and wanted to clarify my muddy advice. Then, with compassion, I wrote that until an annulment was granted, David was still married, so they shouldn’t be dating.
As for an annulment being just a piece of paper, the same might be said of a deed to a house, or adoption decree, or release papers from Auschwitz. These papers change the very fabric of our lives, marking the difference between death and life, freedom and want.
I held my letter for several days. Then, with much prayer, I mailed it.
A week later, Caroline called with a remarkable story.
When she’d read my letter, she knew I’d spoken the truth – a truth she’d been trying to avoid. She felt oddly relieved.
Hesitantly, Caroline called David and asked to see him. He was meeting a friend that evening, so they arranged to visit afterwards.
When Caroline arrived at David’s apartment, he met her nervously. “I need to say something,” David blurted out. “I had dinner with an old friend, and he told me something I didn’t want to hear. He said we shouldn’t be dating until my annulment is granted. He’s right, Caroline. I’m so sorry. We have to stop seeing each other.”
Caroline was speechless. When she regained her composure, she told David that she, too, had heard from a friend who loved her enough to speak the truth.
David and Caroline stopped seeing each other. It was excruciating. Seven months later, David’s annulment was granted.
Today, David and Caroline are married with two children.
Some things are worth the wait.
M. Regina Cram is a published author and parishioner of SS. Isidore and Maria Parish.
